Wednesday, November 04, 2009
My wonderful friend, Lisa, told me today that it's been too long since I've updated on here. Knowing this is true, but denying it for several months now, I decided that I couldn't resist anymore. Let's face it, I've had some unique "photographic" opportunities over the past fall, and I have yet to post about any of them. I should never go a whole season without blogging because now I am so overwhelmed by all of the pictures I could be posting that I don't even know where to start.
But before I do, I'll start by saying that I've been all over the place this semester, busier than ever. I haven't had time to sit down and reflect on my life, my circumstances, and sometimes blogging is a good opportunity to do just that. So, even though this is a photography blog, I am going to let it be personal just this once (okay, I take that back...it might happen again.) I've had a rather difficult semester, not for any particular reason, just that life can be full of ups and downs. I had the most incredible summer of my life away from reality (this was an up part of life), living in seclusion at a wonderful camp in western Pennsylvania where I didn't have to face the problems life can throw at you on a daily basis. I was away from everyone I ever knew, which left me with the only constant in my life- God. It sounds cliche, but for those two months I felt closer to my Heavenly Father than I ever have. Because I took a step back from the day-to-day living that our culture immerses us in, I was able to see God in every situation, in every detail, in nature, in people, in hardship, in happiness... I spent so much concentrated time getting to know Him without any other distraction, that I actually began to know Him for more than what I just assumed He was. Although I've been a so-called "Christian" for many years, it wasn't until this summer that I felt like I KNEW God in real ways. Even though I still barely know Him in comparison to who he really is (because He is so mighty, vast, and intricate), it was a small taste of something wonderful. To say the least, adjusting back to the "real world" was well, a culture shock in many ways (this was when a down part of life kind of happened). I've spent the past three months trying to figure life out again, how it works, why it is the way it is, and why I suddenly don't have the ability to experience God like I did then. Don't get me wrong, He is still everything to me that He was on those beautiful mornings at the lake when I got to talk with Him over the summer, but it's not just me and God anymore. Throw classes, grades, school, friends, family, temptation, sadness, my own desires, selfishness, injury, ME ME ME, others, etc... into the mix and suddenly it's like I'm trying to talk to Him through a crowd. Or am I? Maybe it's the opposite.
A few weeks back, one of the directors from Summer's Best Two Weeks, (the place where I spent this glorious summer) Timotheus Pope, spoke at Messiah. He asked us a very basic question during one of his sessions: "Is God enough?". It sounds simple, and initially my response was "Yes, He is! Always will be. Duh." And then I realize what Timotheus is talking about. He isn't asking if God is enough when I have a ton of other earthly things on top of that. He was asking if God is enough if I only have God and nothing else. That's a hard thing for me to answer. Because yes, God was more than enough this summer, when I did have what seemed like nothing. But now that I have the option of other things, I tend to choose them over Him. That's the part of life I'm working on. I could go on and on about this, and I wish I could bring this full circle and say that it relates to my photography and this blog, but I can't. God needs to be enough for me. I can't cling to life and what is around me so tightly, ignoring the One I should be living for instead. I promise I won't ever wait this long to post again and abruptly pour my heart out to you over an online blog.
So this fall (or since I last posted): Two engagements, two HS seniors, one wedding, one family and much more... here are some of my favorites. No particular order, just enjoy. I hope you find a little bit of happiness in these pictures. They are filled with something we could all use a little more of: love...true, authentic, REAL love that our world is often missing. Loving others, especially others that are seemingly unlovable is a difficult thing. This is another thing I'm learning these days, although I should probably save that for a later post.
But speaking of love, I leave you with this. (It's for you and it's for me, because I need to be reminded of it too.)
1 Peter 4:8
"Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins."